Stressed In?
As I sit here, i watch cameron and ruthann, and can't help but think that it is so sad in the fact that they are both so fake, so plastic, like dolls in one of those little globe things that you shake and the snow falls. I can hear the high, metallic music already. so pathetic.

My life is at a fast paced run, and I am spazzing out, stressing out. i got a hundred things to do in one day, a hundred things that are building and building, and my defenses are falling down. I am running to keep up, and stress is at a all time high. I am so preoccupied with work, school, upward bound, my car, taking care of it, paying for it, and at the same time, trying to wear a mask that says that I am rebellious, that I am not like all of the other fake, plastic people in the rest of my school. But, in reality, I am a lot like the rest of the girls in my school, only in a different way. I am like them in they way that, instead of being preppie and excited, I am depressed and hate the world, but in reality, when I act like myself, I am not like that at all, and it's really sad. i am such a hypocrite, and i hate myself for it.

My life is going so many ways, and I am only sixteen, and I can hardly stand the responsibilities that I have now. what makes you think that, when I'm older, that I can pay bills, go to work, and live life like an adult?

After I talked to Mr. Glover today, I went to the bathroom and had a nervous breakdown. I cried and cried. i was embarressed when i went to class because my eyes were all red and swollen. I hate myself when that happens. just htinking about all the stuff that I have to concentrate on right now gives me a tension in my shoulders that is very painful.